70 of the funniest women of twitter and their crack up tweets

smiles — gotzerochill via Twitter
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gotzerochill via Twitter

#1 Politeness will do it

This is probably something every person who went to college can relate to. Sometimes you just have to put on your game face and do everything necessary to pass a class.

may — elliesisk via Twitter
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elliesisk via Twitter

#2 Fill the void

Good news, everybody! Anna’s finally found the one thing that’ll fill that gaping void you have inside.

annabroges via Twitter
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annabroges via Twitter

#3 It’s payback time

Now, Lisa’s dog knows what it feels like to be covered in another person’s hair. Well, maybe ‘covered’ isn’t the right word. But you get the point.

tables — lisaxy424 via Twitter
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lisaxy424 via Twitter

#4 Just messing around

Using a few scare tactics to get a kid to behave is pretty harmless. And they can be pretty hilarious too, as proven by Railynn and her antics.

job — Railynnnn via Twitter
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Railynnnn via Twitter

#5 Bold move

It’s a pretty bold move on Sarah’s part to be out here stealing a cab from an FBI special agent just like that. She better prepare to see Mulder and Scully on her doorstep soon.

selfie — ughsarahd via Twitter
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ughsarahd via Twitter

#6 Everybody’s got a beach body

Here’s a message every woman will approve of. You better stop stressing about getting that ‘beach body’ in magazines. The beach is going to get whatever body women give it.

rachelPLZdotcom via Twitter
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rachelPLZdotcom via Twitter

#7 Double edged sword

Everyone has something to say. But not everything they have to say is nice.

tweet — aparnapkin via Twitter
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aparnapkin via Twitter

#8 A one-way thing

Even men can relate to these kinds of one-way phone calls with their moms. It’s something that most kids let slide, though.

mom — SCbchbum via Twitter
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SCbchbum via Twitter

#9 High as a kite

This is probably one of the trippiest photos we’ve seen. We wonder what the story behind this picture really is.

horse — KimmyMonte via Twitter
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KimmyMonte via Twitter

#10 The complete package

Funny and handsome? That’s like the perfect package. Also, who knew Michael Scott would turn out to be such a silver fox?

#11 Adulthood is fun!

Adulthood sure has its perks and downsides. Sometimes, the negatives can outweigh the positives.

#12 That’s the spirit!

A healthy dose of self-love is important and Isabel certainly knows that. Who else is always going hype you up but yourself?

pretty — lSABABE via Twitter
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lSABABE via Twitter

#13 Free will

Adults are just kids with money, and this dilemma is proof of it. Things can easily go overboard.

candy — ethiopienne via Twitter
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ethiopienne via Twitter

#14 Working mom woes

Being a mother is a job in itself, so when moms decide to work from home, the setup can lead to awkward moments like this. Hopefully, Maura’s bosses took things lightly and were understanding of her situation.

call — behindyourback via Twitter
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behindyourback via Twitter

#15 Supportive friend

Propping yourself up on bad days is tough, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do the same for your friends. Unfortunately, the results aren’t always the best. It’s the thought that counts, really.

#16 Height matters

Women today are smarter when it comes to dating. Some still have their weak moments, though, especially when it comes to tall men.

#17 Fooling nobody

We’re with Beth on this one. Surely, Steve from high school hasn’t gotten over their romance just yet. Fifteen years is not enough.

boyfriend — bourgeoisalien via Twitter
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bourgeoisalien via Twitter

#18 The necessities

Not every purse out there is a pristine oasis for some car keys and a few credit cards. Some of them are based in reality.

#19 Attack of the clones

There’s nothing wrong with being basic. It’s still pretty hilarious seeing the concept in action though.

olddaffodil via Twitter
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olddaffodil via Twitter

#20 All in one

Women can do everything all right. But we’re not so sure this is the best outfit to be in while doing so.

#21 The perfect prom date

This is probably the best way to deal with and move on from a breakup. Now, Gabi will only have fond memories when she looks back on her prom night.

#22 Donate or perish

Canadian Blood Services is getting desperate to attract people to donate blood, it seems. And they found the most awesomely threatening way to do so.

#23 Avocados and hotness

Here’s a funny thing avocados and women have in common, according to Valerie.

life — ValeeGrrl via Twitter
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ValeeGrrl via Twitter

#24 Thinking ahead

Hey, at least Jenny’s kid is an optimist, right? Here’s to hoping her son didn’t jinx their marriage by anticipating his two Christmases.

parenting — JennyPentland via Twitter
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JennyPentland via Twitter

#25 The only names that matter

Can you really blame Yael, though? Most dogs are easier to deal with compared to their owners. No drama, just pats.

neighbor — elle91 via Twitter
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elle91 via Twitter

#26 Smiling on the outside

Have to put on a show for the guests. You can always cry in your room later.

#27 Dark lunch

Now, this is something a lot of people, both men and women, can co-sign on. Sometimes, three meals a day just isn’t enough.

dinner — sadgirlkms via Twitter
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sadgirlkms via Twitter

#28 Snip, snip

This passenger should be thankful Stacey doesn’t have a pair of scissors handy at the time. She would’ve come off the plane with a new haircut.

#29 The true horror of a dark screen

You never know when you’re going to be confronted with reality. It can happen anytime and usually does when you least expect it.

#30 The irony

Is there anything more frustrating than realizing your workout clothes are starting to fit tighter instead of the other way around? That’s like the telltale sign of a failed diet.

#31 Being (un)dead is hard work

And not just that, being zombified slows you down making your walks even more excruciating. Gia’s got a good point.

fear — GashleyMadison via Twitter
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GashleyMadison via Twitter

#32 Truest lyrics ever

We’re not sure Beyonce would approve of these new lyrics. But a lot of other ‘Pringle ladies’ around the world surely would.

#33 C’est la vie

So, this is basically what being an adult is like. Nobody signed up for it but we all have to follow the same rules.

#34 Gee thanks, mom

You can always rely on moms to remind you exactly what you’re doing wrong or lacking in life. And they wonder why their kids won’t meet them anymore.

mom — sixfootcandy via Twitter
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sixfootcandy via Twitter

#35 That light

There are moments when it feels like the universe just gets you. This is one of those moments.

#36 Target is the new Tinder

Aye, who needs to pay for overpriced drinks or scour through Tinder when they have a Target nearby? You get hit on and buy things you need. It’s a multitasking solution, really.

bars — LeoBlakeCarter via Twitter
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LeoBlakeCarter via Twitter

#37 Not a ‘real woman’

Oops, Aimee may have just blown her cover. Now, ‘real women’ everywhere are scrambling to hide their true identity.

#38 A stronger password

If Superman isn’t strong enough, there’s always Wonder Woman. And as always, she’s taking on something men failed to do.

#39 Hair goals

This dog’s hair is truly #goals! And Kerbie hit the nail right on the head. The pup’s locks do look like the trendy beachy wave hair everyone’s been rocking lately.

dog — kerbiegibbs via Twitter
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kerbiegibbs via Twitter

#40 At the right place, at the right time

Paige’s parents saw the perfect opportunity for a hilarious photo and they took it. Hopefully, she inherited her folks’ sense of humor, too.

paigealban23 via Twitter
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paigealban23 via Twitter

#41 Fish are friends and shells are…

Flora here is really asking the serious questions. Has Disney offered us an explanation?

mermaid — Flora__Flora via Twitter
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Flora__Flora via Twitter

#42 A big appetite

Meal prepping is a lie…when you’re always hungry. Beth learned this the hard way.

#43 Not like the other girls

One of these girls is not like the others. One of these girls doesn’t belong. Can you spot which?

#44 How memories work

We have a theory that the doorframe is some kind of memory-erasing device installed by aliens to play with humans. Or, you know, the human memory is just flawed and that’s why we forget things.

phone — AbbyHasIssues via Twitter
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AbbyHasIssues via Twitter

#45 Life hacks for single ladies

Need some affection but not in the mood to actually interact with people? Charlene’s got your back.

oven — charstarlene via Twitter
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charstarlene via Twitter

#46 The secret to eternal youth

Annie might be onto something here. Smirking might just be the new botox.

glamour — HatfieldAnne via Twitter
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HatfieldAnne via Twitter

#47 Big sister duties

Sometimes, you get all of your training as an adult before you actually get there. At least you’ll be awesome at it!

mom — BeeBabs via Twitter
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BeeBabs via Twitter

#48 Just chillin’

Sometimes women just feel the urge to get all dolled up even if they have nowhere important to go. Even legendary actress-singer Barbra Streisand can relate.

#49 Not her best day

You know you need a good night’s rest when even the crows are making a beeline for you. Hopefully, Mary was able to evade her crow stalker in the end.

#50 No in between

A set of well-done nails can always make a simple outfit look put together. So, we totally get how Alicia feels.

#51 A glitch in the matrix

Vanessa’s dog surely got the surprise of her life when she saw her doppelganger that day. Fortunately, it looks like they got along well.

#52 Keeping the spark alive

You know you found a keeper when they still make an effort to make you smile even after years of marriage. Her parents are total #relationshipgoals.

#53 She got it from her momma

When your momma’s got attitude, you can’t help but internalize some of it. She certainly did.

wonder — chooses via Twitter
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chooses via Twitter

#54 Being an adult

Sometimes, you just have a realization. Sometimes that realization is about life.

AbbyHasIssues via Twitter
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AbbyHasIssues via Twitter

#55 The math

Then there are those moments when you’ve just had too long of a day. 46 weeks is almost a year, sort of, right?

text — SCbchbum via Twitter
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SCbchbum via Twitter

#56 The ultimate harshest critic

Who would’ve thought Twitter would turn out to be the biggest canceling platform on the Internet? Gone are the days of random status updates and stream of consciousness posts.

beer — msdanifernandez via Twitter
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msdanifernandez via Twitter

#57 Cursedimage.jpeg

Sandals may be the best things to wear during hot summer days but they aren’t faultless. Every girl has probably experienced this horrific thing at least once in their lives

feet — olddaffodil via Twitter
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olddaffodil via Twitter

#58 Kids these days…

Kids’ humor can be so literal. Want a brownie (brown-E)? You’ll get one, alright.

#59 Happens to the best of us

It looks like even model Chrissy Teigen gets those vivid food dreams. Hopefully, someone went shopping while she was resting.

fridge — chrissyteigen via Twitter
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chrissyteigen via Twitter

#60 Kid logic

Awww, isn’t Becky’s toddler the cutest? We wonder what they’re watching on YouTube.

videos — beckyalbertalli via Twitter
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beckyalbertalli via Twitter

#61 Routine cleanup

No receipts means it didn’t really happen, right? Right?

shadesof666 via Twitter
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shadesof666 via Twitter

#62 A changed woman

We do applaud Kyle for her strong will in declining mimosas at brunch of all places. Now, about that nightly glass of wine…

#63 The three genders of breakfast

Yup, no contest. The dish factory has spoken.There are three genders in the kitchen in the morning.

cups — witch_mama_ via Twitter
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witch_mama_ via Twitter

#64 Bookworm woes

Seriously, who has the time to read books these days? But that won’t stop Amanda from buying new ones to add to her to-read list.

#65 Roadkill

Erin was probably conflicted about what to feel after realizing that she didn’t hit a rock, which could cause damage to her car, but ended up totaling her phone instead.It’s a good news-bad news situation.

eliopuloserin via Twitter
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eliopuloserin via Twitter

#66 Major turn off

Ooof…We have to agree with Abby on this one. Add to this the people who pronounce the ‘g’ in bologna.

pronouncing — AbbyHasIssues via Twitter
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AbbyHasIssues via Twitter

#67 The biggest Keanu fan

Oh sure, nothing at all suspicious to see here. It’s just a van filled with Speed VHS tapes because that’s totally normal in the 21st century.

#68 The only way to shop

This, we believe, is the only financially responsible way to shop online. Good deals are always out there; you just have to dig for them.

low — _TARYNitUP via Twitter
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_TARYNitUP via Twitter

#69 Phone obsessed

Everyone can definitely relate to this one. People are obsessed with their phones and there’s no denying that. You’re probably reading this on your phone now.

#70 Damage control

With a lot of bad things happening in the world, people need all the cute animal photos they can get to keep their sanity intact. Baby animals always do the trick.