Happiness can be a pretty elusive thing. For many people it can come and go as quickly as the wind can change. For most people it’s highly dependant on circumstance- is there something particular in your life, right now, to make you happy. It seems that we can live our lives on a seesaw. If there are enough things on the side that makes us happy, then hey presto! We’re happy. But if there aren’t enough things on that side to balance out the not-so-happy…
Steve Maraboli wrote it best:
“Happiness has to do with your mindset, not with outside circumstance.”
What he means by this is rather simple:
Happiness is about how you live your life, not by the sum of it’s happy-making contents.
Here are a few tips for ways to live your life to maximize your genuine happiness. These are by no means “quick-fix”, but rather ways to shape your lifestyle and mindset to stoke the fires of your own consistent happiness.
1. Manage your expectations.
This is a big one. So many people feel disillusioned with their lot in life. Their dreams seem to never be within arms reach, no matter how hard they try and before they know it, they’re fed up with the journey there. It’s essential with every goal we have to establish (and maintain!) realistic expectations. Nobody’s saying you can’t be an astronaut or Hollywood’s next big star. The point is to be realistic about how long it takes, and the amount of effort it may require to achieve.
2. Your family and friends are a gift.
Now…Everyone’s family or friend situation is different. Every family has a different dynamic, and friends can come and go. What matters is to cherish and nurture those relationships that are important to you. These are the people who will jump to your aid when needed, or give you that ear that you need. As much as we as humans can be reclusive at times, we are social animals in the end. Cherishing time with your closest is healthy.
3. Live generously.
As much as receiving a gift can be an instant spike of happiness, giving other people gifts can be far more potent. Making other people happy through your generosity is a form of happiness you receive that cannot be taken away from you. Make a habit of sharing, it’s good for the soul.
4. Alone-time is your friend.
Living a happy, healthy life is all about balance, and doing everything in necessary measure. As much as it is great for your happiness to spend time with your closest people, it has to be said not to neglect your personal time. Without time to breathe, hear your own thoughts and unwind we can become agitated and anxious. Take a little time-out every once in a while for your own happinesses sake.
5. Do what you love.
This is a pretty clichéd one, but it is true! Doing what you love is one sure-fire way to make the daily grind a positive element of your life. Now, obviously not everyone can be a painter or a dancer or video game tester. If you can’t find a career in a particular passion, think about what kind of work you love doing. If you’re a word-worm, find a career where your control of language is the bulk of your workload. Heck, how many lawyers have found their passion because they were great in arguments?
6. Little joys make a big difference.
There’s a lot to be said about the little things in life. In exchange for five minutes of your day, taking the time to do nothing but enjoy your morning coffee, or a few tracks of your favorite album can make all the difference to a stressful day.
7. Get back to NOW.
There are many ways to live in the present, and as many articles written about them. What’s important to remember is that the more time we spend dwelling in the past or dreaming of the future, the less room we have for happiness, which I should point out can only be experienced in the present. You can remember being happy, and you can anticipate being happy, but the only way to experience it is right here and right now.
8. Exercise is important.
Regular exercise is often thought of as relegated to the fitness-seekers, but the truth is that it’s actually a crucial part of everybody’s wellbeing. I’m not saying to sign up to your nearest gym and get into cross-fit. What I’m saying is that the benefits of regular exercise, as easy as a walk, is beneficial to anyone. It releases endorphins and gets the blood flowing through your brain for a clearer mind. You don’t have to be a body builder to see the rewards of an active lifestyle.
9. Rest is essential.
What did I say about happiness and balance? The balance that needs to be maintained opposite regular exercise is a little down time. Just as alone time is essential for your own mental health, rest is important for those who overwork themselves throughout the week. Take some time to breathe and balance out that hectic lifestyle.
10. No regrets.
Part of the “living in the now” concept is letting go of those regrets that, unchecked, will hold you back forever. Wrong choices, bad ideas, failed relationships, whatever it is that you can’t get over, it will do you no good and do nothing but hold you back. Letting go of past failures enables you to start fresh. You deserve it.
11. Be your own example.
In a day and age so connected to social media, it can be all too easy to lose yourself in the swamp of other people’s lives. The biggest online threat to our happiness is how easy it is to compare yourself to others. People post the best things about them online, their biggest wins or their hottest pics. It’s all to easy to obsess over the successes of your “friends”, and feel lowly about yourself. Stay focused on your journey, and do not compare it to others.
12. De-clutter your life.
By now, most of us are familiar with Marie Kondo and her theories on de-cluttering for a simpler happier life. Detoxing yourself from all the noise of the “things” around you does have a tremendous impact on your overall happiness. As Marie recommends, keep the things that “spark joy”, and if they don’t, they don’t deserve to be in your life.
13. Spend a little time on others.
It seems that time has an intrinsic link with our happiness. Not only is it about where we focus our mind in time between the past and the future, but we have to think of it as a currency to be spent for happiness. We’ve already talked about spending it with family, or alone, or resting or enjoying the little things, but another way to turn time into happiness is to spend it, but not on yourself. Volunteering your time in order to help others or a cause can give you a feeling of purpose, and reward you with personal happiness.
14. Eat healthy as much as you can.
Just as exercise isn’t only for the gym-goers, eating healthy is a consideration for everyone. Ensuring that your body gets all the nutrients that it needs as well as reducing the unhealthy parts of your diet is not only great for your body, but for your mind. An unhealthy diet can make you feel tired or anxious and can lower your overall confidence. A balanced and healthy diet is a miracle cure for many of life’s issues.
15. Gratitude.
It doesn’t matter if you have anyone, or anything in particular to be grateful to for the things that you have in life. What matters is to feel in your heart that you are grateful for everything that you have. Feeling gratitude is a way of stock-taking everything in your life that makes you happy, and doing so regularly can help keep those happiness levels up, especially if they’ve been dwindling. Take a moment everyday to think about all that you have got, and be grateful for it.
So there you have it, I hope you will find these useful, although I also hope you don’t need too many of them! Of course, it’s impossible to do every one of these, but these ideas should help you establish the balance you may be missing, whatever that is.
How do you keep the happy’s going?
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